A girl is in need of urgent help to stop a very bad habit. According to her story, she has been sleeping with her cousin for a long time now and can't seem to stop.
Hi, i am keeping my identity confidential. I am really close with a cousin of mine where we have always had this special connection. I am 15 and he is 17. We have quite a big family so there is quite a lot of family get-together on a regular basis.
Since I was 13 he had been looking me up and down and feeling my bum. When we hug he always slides his hand down my leg which i kinda get to liked after a while. He even went as far as doing it under the dinner table where we had family dinner and that got me really really horny. Family members never suspected a thing at first and to be honest sometimes it often got awkward when he does there.
I decided this had to stop. After dinner one night I took him up to my room so we could talk in private. Just as I was about to ask him to stop doing those things he got the wrong idea why I had taken him to my room so he started kissing me and rubbing my private area, slipping his hand down my trousers and started poking me directly on my tinkle spot.
I couldn't bring myself to ask him to stop at that moment, i had to have one last go, just once more of that feeling, so after that he took his trousers down and asked for me to start on him orally. I went ahead and did it then he put me on the bed and got on top of me, pulls my skirt up then my underwear down then stick me with his moist hard 'third-leg.'
Finally. It started to become a frequent thing every time we got together. After so many close encounters of being caught, family members started to suspect things and had drawn a line between keeping us apart. I felt so ashamed and dirty.
At any gathering we were placed at separate ends of the table and was closely watched. That didn't stop us though as we always managed to get together again and repeat the process. Funny how what i wanted to put an end to actually ended up being something i wanted to continue with. Now, it happened at birthdays and even at weddings.
I knew it was wrong at the very first beginning of it all and I want it to stop but when I'm in that position with him I just can't bring myself to ask him not to.
So, it keeps happening and I feel like I have no control over it. I have gone on the pill since this started because I know sooner or later it is going to happen. But, I need it to stop.
We are getting older and wiser, free to make our own choices on how to live, but this gutted feeling inside tells me its wrong and will never be approved by our family.
How do we stop it because I can't?
Please, help me. Call me Samantha